v1c10: Ema-chan the Liar

  

I’d been studying a lot lately, so maybe that's why my body had gotten weaker, as I was recovering at a considerably slow rate. I finally started feeling better the day before the end-of-term ceremony.

“I should be able to go to school tomorrow at this rate.”

As I lounged in the living room that evening, my mother, who had finished her work early, arrived home and gave me her permission as well. I was relieved to know that, at the very least, I’d be able to show up on the very last day of school, since it’d be quite sad if I started my winter vacation like this. To be honest, I was getting tired of staying at home for so long.

“Ah, that’s right.”

My mother briefly muttered before leaving the living room. Not long after, she returned with a white paper bag in her hand.

“Here you go.”

“What’s this?”

My mother answered me with a straight face.

“It’s a little early, but that’s your Christmas present. I think your father went out to buy it yesterday.”

“The sooner the better, right?” My mother said as she handed the bag over to me.

“Thank you.” I curtly thanked my mother. But on the inside, I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed at the present.

Suppressing my excitement, I quickly opened the bag and took it out. The smartphone was made of black aluminium, and it fit snugly in the palm of my hand.

“But you know, I never would’ve imagined you asking us for a phone. You’ve never really wanted a phone before, so I was worried that you didn’t have many friends.”

I was caught off guard with her statement. As a gift for entering high school, my parents bought me a PC, but they added that, in exchange, I would have to hold off on getting a smartphone for the next 3 years. That was why I had held myself back all this time, but I wonder if she’s already forgotten.

While I did feel utter dismay at how careless adults were, the joy of having a device in my pocket that could connect me to the world was greater.

(I’ve finally obtained a phone.)

As soon as I got back to my room, I immediately started playing around with my phone without even looking at the manual. It took me a while at first, but after an hour or so, I got used to handling it. I then got absorbed in downloading all sorts of apps, music, and photos.

I registered a new email address and social networking ID for me. I had several usernames I wanted to use, but all of them were already taken by other people, so out of desperation, I ended up choosing a username that was simply a play on my initials. It lacked any sort of uniqueness or flair to it, which was pretty disappointing.

【TLN: I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that the Japanese use different email addresses for different devices. One used for their PC, and the other on their mobile device. If I am mistaken, please let me know in the comments.】

My inbox was empty at the moment, with not a single message in it right now. One could retort at me and say, “Obviously it’d be empty, ‘cause you haven’t even told anyone about it yet!”, and they’d be right. But…

(I’ll tell Kitaoka tomorrow.)

I’ll tell her I bought a smartphone. Maybe when I return her jersey to her, or since it’s the first day of our winter courses tomorrow, maybe I’ll tell her on the way home. I’ll say, “Let’s exchange contact information.”

I felt uncharacteristically ecstatic at the thought that the very first message I receive on my new phone might be from that girl.

I headed to school the next morning with a spring in my step. When I got off at the station near school, my eyes caught sight of Tamura on the platform. Some of the high schools in the area were already on vacation, so the train, as well as the platform, was somewhat less crowded than usual.

“Ah, Tamu.”

When Tamura turned around and looked at me, she froze, seemingly a little bewildered.

I thought it was a strange reaction for her to have, but before I knew it, she immediately returned to her usual poker face.

“Ah, I heard you had water poured on you the other day. Are you okay?”

“Yep. I got a bit of a cold, but I’m alright now. I’m as fit as a fiddle.”

I saw that my breath was white. As I rubbed my hands together to ward off the cold, I reached the bottom of the staircase I’d been descending.

“But having such a thing happen to you during this cold weather must’ve been a disaster. Who did this to you?”

“I’m not too sure who… Well, I suppose it might just be an accident.”

When she heard my reply, I saw Tamura’s eyebrows twitch.

“An accident? With an entire bucket of water falling directly on you?”

...Her words hit a sore spot. But, I’m kind of an unlucky person, so I’m sure these sorts of rare misfortunes might befall me from time to time. Or rather, it’d pain me to think that someone intentionally did this to me, so I wanted to believe that it was just an accident.

I just casually laughed the matter off. This made Tamura’s expression grow increasingly grim as she asked me.

“And, you know… haven’t you been the subject of some fishy rumors lately?”

“Rumors? What kind?”

Clueless, I asked her back, but Tamura just awkwardly replied in an evasive manner.

“...Or, are you talking about what you said at the ramen store the other day?”

I wondered if she was talking about that rumor concerning me and Kitaoka. If so, then I hadn’t heard any rumors of that sort from others. In fact, I’d been staying at home for the last several days, so I wouldn’t know much about whatever’s going on at school.

“Mmm… Well, if you don’t know, then forget what I said. I don’t really care anyway.”

Tamura vaguely smiled as she replied. It was as if she was implicitly saying, “Don’t ask any further,” so I just swallowed my words.

...I had also planned on telling Tamura that I’d gotten a smartphone, but for some reason the mood didn’t seem right for me to do so.

As soon as we left the ticket gate, Tamura said, “I’m going to stop by a convenience store for a bit,” as we parted ways in front of the station. There was no need for me to accompany her, so I just plugged in my earphones and headed to school alone.

I wondered what she had meant by “fishy rumors”. I had a bad feeling about it, and unease started welling in my heart.

It’d been a while since I’d gone to school, but the classroom didn’t seem to be any different from usual. However, during the closing ceremony in the gym, I felt like I caught a few glances from the girls in the other classes. Their glances were a mixture of curiosity and disgust. It was a first for me, since I was a plain and inconspicuous boy, who at the very least was considered a harmless person.

─Tamura’s earlier tidings of “strange rumors” came back to mind. But I didn’t have any conclusive evidence, so I decided to leave it alone for now. Tomorrow was the start of winter break anyway, and I was also preparing to take the Center Exam once the New Year arrived. I had no time to be distracted by such trivial matters.

After cleaning duty and a longer than usual homeroom, the school day ended just before noon. Katsuya said he had a date with Asuka-chan, so after I saw him off, I went to the staff room to get my report card as well as the results for my exams that I hadn’t been able to retrieve while I was absent.

My report card and exam results were mostly as I had expected. They were almost the same as the results I had gotten in the previous semester, although I was considerably relieved to see that my ranking in physics, the subject I had focused the majority of my studying on, had improved a lot.

I thanked my homeroom teacher and left the staff room. As I walked towards the door, I suddenly remembered the contents of the paper bag I was holding in my hand.

(In the end, I couldn’t return it to her.)

The bag held the jersey I had borrowed from Kitaoka on the day I had water dumped on me from above. I had planned to give it to her during cleaning time or break time, when no one was around, but I couldn’t find the right timing and before I knew it, school had already ended. I was still carrying it around with me just in case I bumped into her somewhere, but now that winter vacation had begun and we no longer had school, I’m sure Kitaoka wouldn’t have any need for it. In the end, I decided to return it to her after the new year, so I kept it in my locker in the hallway until then. After that, I headed back to the fourth floor where my classroom was.

After climbing several flights of stairs, I finally arrived at the door of the classroom. Past the closed door, I could hear the lively chatter of several girls inside.

“Hey, Ema, are you going anywhere for Hatsumode?”

【TLN: Hatsumode = First shrine visit of the year.】

My ears twitched at the name I heard. Apparently, Kitaoka was one of the girls chatting inside.

It was perfect timing. I’ll see how things pan out for a bit, and should Kitaoka exit the class, I’ll return the jersey to her. Of course, I wanted to thank her as well, and when it came to returning other people’s belongings, the sooner one returned it the better.

I leaned against the wall in the hallway and waited for Kitaoka. Perhaps it was because there wasn’t anyone else around, but I could just about hear the voices in the classroom. Then, I noticed that I couldn't hear Kitaoka's voice very well, even though she was definitely inside the classroom. But she wasn’t an assertive talker by nature, so maybe this was just the way it was supposed to be.

The girls in the classroom were talking about their boyfriends, fashion, the exams of course, and so on. They frequently switched topics and laughed happily, showing no signs of leaving the classroom.

My digital watch quietly beeped, and its display showed “12:30”. Normally, we would’ve arrived at the station long ago.

5 more minutes. I’ll wait for 5 more minutes, and if she doesn’t come out by then, then I’ll just head home. I inadvertently listened in on their girls’ talk once more.

The empty hallway was chilly. As I blew on my hands to warm them up, what came to my ears was the girls discussing their plans for the coming Christmas.

Today, on the last day of school, I planned to have lunch at a Hawaiian-style hamburger restaurant with my close friends Miyu, Juuri, and Kokona, as well as Maiko from Class C, who had been my classmate during my second year.

I have prep school later today, but I’ve been studying so much lately so this is a nice change of pace. All I could think about since morning was, “What should I order when I get there….”

School was over in the morning, and we were supposed to go to lunch right after homeroom. However, one of the members of the group I was going with, Kokona, told me that she was going to ask the math teacher a question about something she was having trouble understanding, so I decided to wait for her while chatting with the other three in my classroom, Class F.

Kokona said that she’d be back in a jiffy, but it’s been a while and she still hasn’t come back. “Ah, I’m so hungry…” I thought as I half-mindedly listened to what the group was talking about.

“It’s Christmas soon, eh? Miyu, you probably have a date with that senpai, don’t you?”

“Hmm… I wonder.”

Miyu vaguely tilted her head to the side at Juuri’s question.

Seeing that gesture of hers led me to believe that Miyu probably wasn’t getting along very well with that senpai at the moment. Whenever the two of them were all lovey-dovey with each other, she’d always show off to us even if we didn't ask. So, since she didn’t say anything to keep appearances up, I was sure that the two of them were fighting. Miyu is a funny girl with a sharp tongue that belies her appearance, but she can be a bit moody and ostentatious at times.

I wasn’t sure how Juuri interpreted Miyu’s response as she just sighed exasperatedly.

“How nice… The fact that you have a boyfriend makes me feel jealous.”

I didn’t really have the same sentiment, but I more or less nodded my head in agreement.

“Usually, we’d be studying even during Christmas, right?”

I wryly smiled when Juuri suddenly turned to look at me.

“Eh, but Ema, you seem to be really close with Iijima-kun these days, you know?”

“Eh…?”

I couldn’t help but feel startled when she suddenly brought up the topic.

What she said was pretty much the truth, but… I didn’t want everyone here to know. I stayed quiet, unsure of how I should reply as Juuri continued speaking with a forced smile on her face.

“I heard it from Taisei. That the two of you always go home from prep school together and stuff.”

She started off by mentioning a name, but hearing that name not only surprised me, it also gave me a really bad feeling that ran through my body.

Taisei… was Hayasaka’s first name. He was the boy from Class B; the very same person who hugged me all the way back during summer training camp. Just remembering his indecent expression and slack jaws sent chills running down my spine.

Why him of all people. I cursed my own foolishness and short sightedness. I wasn’t really trying to hide the fact that I was together with Iijima. I had thought that somehow, I would remove all the obstacles in my way, and before long, I would gain everyone’s approval. This sort of pattern was widespread as of late. But it was a different story if Hayasaka was the one who found out about us.

I had heard through rumors that Hayasaka, although he acted nice to his childhood friends like Juuri, was actually very spiteful and tenacious, and cruelly bullied the kouhais in the rugby club he was in. Even after the summer training camp, he still hadn't given up on me, and every time we ran into each other after school, he would ask me to come over to his house (Obviously, I refused him each and every time). I'm sure that this time, too, he deliberately fed this story to Juuri in order to find out more about our relationship and circumstances.

If Hayasaka found out about us, he’d probably oppress and crush us before we gained everyone’s approval. In fact, could he have already made a move on Iijima?

That was when I suddenly remembered.

(Iijima had water poured on him the other day. Could it be…)

I intuitively wondered whether Hayasaka was the one behind it. It was also rumored that he had done something similar to a kouhai he didn't like in the past, and once this thought came to mind, I could only see it as the truth.

What should I do? It might’ve been my fault that Iijima had to go through such a horrible thing. He had looked anxious the other day, but I had just laughed it off and told him that it was impossible for the incident to be harassment. I should have listened to him more carefully.

While I was feeling too shaken to say anything, Miyu muttered a little mockingly.

“Eeh, so you’re interested in that sort of person. How surprising.”

I almost blurted out, “Don’t call him ‘that sort of person’”.

But if I actually said that, then I’m sure Juuri would secretly relay that to Hayasaka. Juuri had only seen the nice and friendly side of Hayasaka, so she’d probably tell him anything he wanted to know.

“Nope, that was just a coincidence. It’s not like I’m actually trying to go home with him, and he doesn’t really care about going home with me either.”

I tried to make up an appropriate story to brush off her suspicions, but she seemed oblivious to it as she blankly retorted.

“But, that does remind me. The other day, I also heard that the two of you were doing something inside the classroom just before the first period.”

They saw that too? I thought, astonished. I was late to school that time, so I thought no one would be around. I let my guard down, and that was careless of me.

I couldn’t think of a good excuse as I hung my head low. Miyu thoughtlessly continued her insults.

“Do you like him? Why don’t you go out with him? I think the two of you suit each other.”

She kept going on and on with her derogatory comments. Earlier, she had called him that sort of person and now she was sarcastically saying stuff like “how we suit each other”. What the hell was she trying to do? I was getting more and more irritated.

Just because your own relationship isn’t going well doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way to mess up other people’s relationships. Of course, that meant that I couldn’t just carelessly fall for her provocations.

As Miyu and Juuri continued teasing me, Maiko, the girl from the other class who had been watching the whole thing unfold without saying a single word thus far, suddenly spoke up in an uneasy tone.

“Hey, by ‘Iijima-kun’, do you mean that Iijima-kun?”

What the hell did she mean by “that” Iijima-kun? Iijima was mostly inconspicuous, and he wasn’t the type of person who’d usually be brought up in conversations or rumors.

With lots of doubts running through my head, I asked her, “What’s up with Iijima?” She tilted her head to the side and gloomily replied.

“No, it’s just… I heard this from the boys in my class the other day…”

“...Uh-huh?”

“Rumor has it, he’s secretly been taking pictures of girls.”

Her words were so shocking that not only me, but also Miyu and Juuri muttered, “Eh…?” as they fell silent.

“...Is that for real?”

When Miyu asked her, Maiko tilted her head once more, seemingly in thought, before she continued.

“I don't know. But from what I heard, someone found a phone that was dropped in front of their classroom with its screen still on, and when they innocently looked at the contents of the phone, they found lots of weird pictures inside. They were curious to see who would come and retrieve the phone, so they hid themselves. Turns out, Iijima came to take the phone.”

As soon as I heard that, I immediately wanted to shout, “That’s impossible!” First of all, Iijima didn't have any sort of smartphone or cell phone. Once, he had said that he wanted to call home, so I lent him my phone on the way home from prep school, but he was so unaccustomed to using it that he pressed the wrong button several times. Even if he did secretly have a phone, I’m sure he wouldn't act in the way the rumor described.

He hangs out with otakus, and his appearance is what it is, which makes the rumor sound strangely realistic. However, it’s nothing but a rumor, just a fabricated lie. I wonder who the hell came up with this nonsense.

...But, I couldn’t carelessly defend him right now. After all, I’m the only one here who knows that he doesn’t have a smartphone, and it doesn’t seem to be a well-known fact. If I were to point this out, they’d start their whole “You two are so close!” pestering, and I’d just be adding fuel to the flames. I swallowed my words as I lamented my own powerlessness.

Ema swallowed her words, biting down on her disappointment.

“What now, Ema? Your boyfriend is secretly taking pictures of girls.”

As Miyu giggled, I felt an inexplicable sense of irritation welling up from deep within me. Dammit, what part of this situation is so funny as to laugh about? Are the misfortunes of other people so amusing?

“I’m telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.”

“Ooh, you’re standing up for him!”

“That’s not it…”

My heart was filled with anger and frustration.

If this was going to happen, then I should have hinted that I liked Iijima a long time ago. I didn't want others to take an interest in him, so I didn't tell anyone, but it completely backfired on me. But since there was no turning back now, I had no choice but to feign innocence. It was the only option that came to mind.

I spoke out in a decisive tone and firmly declared.

“Really, all these rumors about me liking that guy or going out with that guy, they’re all wrong.”

“Ehh, really?”

“The fact that you’re getting all worked up about this is really suspicious, you know~”

The two of them couldn’t seem to read the mood as they refused to back down. I felt something inside me snap then and there.

“That’s enough. I’m not even friends with a guy like him, let alone being in love.”

I’m sure this much should be enough to make them understand. I really didn’t want to speak so ill of him like that. But, once I said it, I just thought, “Well, whatever happens, happens,” as I laughed along with the other girls.

“I mean, just think about it. There’s no way I’d ever fall in love with an otaku like him.”

I could clearly hear what she said from the outside. I even found myself laughing in agreement, thinking “I know right” and “That’s true, isn’t it?”

It may have been by chance, but I now know what Tamura was talking about when she said “fishy rumors”. I’m being suspected of secretly taking pictures of girls. That was why I got all those disgusted glares from girls back during the closing ceremony.

The rumor was nothing but a hoax. I had some knowledge on how to take photos, but I’d never used the skill for anything immoral… I mean, I didn’t even have a smartphone until yesterday, so there’s no way I could’ve done all that. However, these kinds of shocking rumors were what people hated most, and since it concerned the general public, it would obviously spread quickly. Even if I explained that it was all a misunderstanding and managed to dispel the rumor, the image of “Iijima = a fiend who secretly takes pictures of girls” would remain in the minds of some people. Just imagining all that made my body shudder. At the same time, I felt a strong sense of resentment towards the person who had thoughtlessly spread the rumor.

But if that was all it was, then I was sure I could somehow get through it. I would be graduating from this school in three months anyway. If I did that, then even if I couldn't get rid of my bad rep, I could get away from all the cold looks that people would give me. After the new year, all third years are free to choose whether or not they come to school, so all I’d have to do is endure until then.

However──

“I mean, just think about it. There’s no way I’d ever fall in love with an otaku like him.”

This statement hurt me the most. She even said that we weren’t even friends. I did wish to know how she felt about me, but if this was the truth, then I’d rather never hear it at all.

If the things she said earlier were her true feelings, then I wonder what the meaning was behind all those various expressions I had seen from her on the way home from prep school. Kitaoka, who was normally cold and aloof, smiled a bit more when she was with me, and sometimes she even looked lonely and depended on me. I wondered what she was doing that for.

It was probably just as Tamura had said. She'd act all sorts of suggestive ways to raise a boy’s hopes, and once the boy got interested in her, she'd do a complete 180 and say, "What the hell are you thinking?” Then, seeing the boy’s flustered reaction, she’d laugh at him along with her friends.

Furthermore, Kitaoka didn't even deny the rumors, even though she should have known that I didn't have a cell phone or anything. That was all I was to her. She didn’t care about how low my reputation would fall, in fact, so I was probably even lower than a friend in her eyes.

My heart started throbbing, and my chest started aching. I bit my lip and hung my head low, feeling miserable and ashamed that I had been completely deceived. I wished I could go back to the time before the summer training camp, when I had seen her as nothing more than a "detestable girl".

“Oh, Iijima-kun? What are you doing?”

I heard a voice from beside me and turned to see a girl from my class looking at me and tilting her head curiously.

“Ah… Otsuka-san.”

Otsuka Kokona had also been my classmate during my second year, and we’d even been seatmates once during the first semester. She was part of a different group that was also close to Kitaoka’s group, but her group was made up of people who were relatively more amicable and sociable compared to Kitaoka’s group. I didn’t speak to her unless necessary, but whenever I spoke to her, she’d always properly reply to me, and she didn’t blatantly change her attitude depending on who she was speaking to (Come to think of it, Tamura didn’t have anything bad to say about Otsuka either, but this could just be because Tamura didn’t know much). A while ago, I heard the girls in the classroom saying, “Kokona is really late, huh~”, so it looks like they’re actually waiting for Otsuka.

And I guess this girl hadn't heard the rumors about me yet. The way she looked at me didn’t seem to contain any traces of hate, or the desire to distance herself away from me.

I took out the green jersey from inside the bag I was carrying and handed it over to Otsuka.

“Please give this to Kitaoka-san.”

I didn’t have the willpower to face that girl anymore. So, I’ll just have Otsuka do it for me.

Once she hands the jersey over to Kitaoka, she might ask Kitaoka, “Why does Iijima have your jersey?” But I’m sure she’ll be able to easily explain her way out of it. After all, she’s a big liar who easily deceived me. She could just say she dropped her jersey somewhere.

“Okay. I got it… but, are you okay? Your face looks pale, you know?”

Once Otsuka took the jersey from me, she peered into my face and spoke with concern.

I instantly took a step back as I quickly turned my face away, covering my mouth with my hand as I replied.

“Ah… I’m still recovering from my cold. But I’m just fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

I continued to avoid making eye contact as I turned my back to her. If she stared at me for too long, she would know that I was on the verge of bursting into tears. I simply parted with the words “See ya,” as I quickly left her, heading towards the school entrance.

As I crouched down to change my shoes in front of the shoe rack, the appliance I had just acquired yesterday fell out of my pocket and made a thunk sound as it hit the floor.

I hurried to pick it up, but the screen had already procured some scratches. Despite not having used it at all...

But, I’d just lost roughly half of the entire reason I’d asked for the phone in the first place. This made me feel incredibly empty, and the phone in my hand inevitably felt much heavier.

Later that afternoon, I headed to prep school.

I was still feeling a bit under the weather, but it would be a waste of money if I didn’t attend since I had already paid the tuition for the winter course, and more importantly, if I went home alone, I feel like I’d end up thinking about all sorts of things, and I don’t think I’d be able to endure all that.

Currently, I was wearing an outdoor jacket that could be used even on snowy mountains, and fleece underneath it to protect myself from the cold. Although the wind outside was cold, thanks to my thick clothing, I didn't feel it too much.

I took 2 classes in a row today: One English class to prepare for the Center Exam, and one mathematics class to prepare for my secondary exam. Since schools were closed, the lecture itself started earlier, and therefore it also ended earlier than normal. However, even if I went home early, I wouldn’t have anything to do, so I went to the study room to review all the materials I learnt today, only going home once the building closed.

While listening to some music, I slowly walked toward the station. Then, I passed through the ticket gate and entered the station.

Then, I suddenly realized.

My legs were unconsciously taking me to where Kitaoka usually waited for me. In fact, the ticket gate I just entered from was really inconvenient since it was far away from the actual platform.

I’m such a fool. I laughed at myself in a self-deprecating manner. Even though she’d said such cruel things about me. Habits really are terrifying things.

Besides, she had mentioned the other day that her winter course ended in the evening. So even if I went there, there was no way she’d be there anymore.

...Those were the kinds of thoughts swirling through my mind, so when I descended the staircase and looked at the platform, I saw something so surprising I thought my heart would stop beating.

Kitaoka was sitting on the bench as she cast her eyes downward, just as usual. Of course, since the exams were coming up, she wasn’t playing around with her phone. Instead, she was looking down at a reference book of some sort.

For a moment, I wondered if I should call out to her. But, the words I had heard that morning came back to me, and I shook my head.

In the first place, I had no proof that Kitaoka was waiting for me today as usual. Maybe her lecture had gone on for a while, and it just so happened to end at around this time.

I stepped down on the platform and walked far away to hide myself from Kitaoka as I waited for the train.

I stood diagonally behind Kitaoka, and I occasionally glanced at her, but she never once looked back at me, not sensing the fact that I was here.

As I looked at her figure which I had gotten used to seeing, I couldn't help but feel an emotion that I couldn't describe as anger or sadness. I wondered why she had deceived me. I was tempted to hound her if she had enjoyed doing that, and I had an urge to make her reflect on her actions.

However, if she told me, "I didn't deceive you. You were the one who got carried away,” then I’d have no comeback. Even now, I couldn’t recall any instance where Kitaoka had said anything that would clearly indicate her affection toward me. All it took for me to get conscious of her was the forlorn look in her eyes, her suggestive words, and the occasional physical touch. She was also very clever in not leaving any evidence of her actions, which made me realize once more that a man of my level could never stand up to someone like her.

I also wanted to know if she really meant it when she said, "We're not even friends.” But, it’d be very uncool of me to try and hold on to such a trivial position, so there was no way I could actually ask her about it.

Even so, I didn’t have the guts to pretend like I didn't hear her and continue pretending to be friends like nothing ever happened.

So, there was only one way left for me. Keep away from her as much as possible and run away. I didn't want to become any more miserable from my involvement with Kitaoka. I’m sure her pride as a hunter would be slightly hurt if she knew that she had let her prey (me) escape halfway through. This was the only sort of resistance I could put up against her, and the only sort of revenge I could exact on her.

An announcement was made informing passengers of the arriving train, and moments later, the train slid into the platform with a roar.

I boarded the train through the nearest door and stood by the window with bated breath as I stared out at the platform, waiting for the train to depart.

“This is for the best,” I told myself over and over again. In fact, back when Kitaoka had left me waiting in vain without saying anything, I didn’t hear a single word of apology from her the following week. Us going home together was something that we were doing of our own accord. So neither of us could criticise the other just because they went home earlier without notice. Maybe Kitaoka was casually getting into the train car right next to me too.

The door closed and the train started running. Within a few seconds, it passed in front of Kitaoka, who was still sitting on the bench. But she didn't seem to notice that I was already onboard as she vacantly stared at the departing train.

Kitaoka's figure gradually grew distant. I knew that she was waiting for someone… probably me, and that made my heart beat faster and my chest tighten.

I wonder how long she planned to stay there. Even though the weather was this cold. Even though I’d never show up, no matter how long she waited. When I imagined her frail body that would forever be stood up, I began to feel a little sorry for her, no matter how much I hated her for all her lies and deception.

But I still couldn’t forgive her for what she did. As I tightly held onto the handrail in front of me, I strongly clenched my teeth, hanging my head low as I sniffled once.

To be continued…

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